Last Monday: 403lbs
This Monday: 400lbs
Bite one: “Oh this tastes wonderful!”
Bite two: “Things are finally returning somewhat to normal.
Bite three: “OH DEAR JESUS I THINK I’M GOING TO BE SICK!”
That is literally how each one of my meals goes. When I’m at home or eating alone this is alright. However when you add the public to the mix, this creates for some uncomfortable situations. I won’t cast blame here, because I am also admitting making judgments in regards to public eating.
For me it’s incredible to be on the outside looking in for once. The sheer amount of food served and consumed by your average everyday American is staggering. Appetizers, soup, salad, rolls, sides, main course, desserts, drinks. I tend to stick to the appetizers because I don’t want to sit there without food while this obnoxious parade of dishes goes on. I don’t bring it up. For one, I don’t want to draw attention to myself. For two, I don’t want to draw attention to the people I’m with. I feel that’s being considerate.
My courtesies aren’t often returned unfortunately. People tend to be quick to point out the lack of food I’ve eaten. I never know where they are coming from either. Are they self-conscious about their own eating habits? Do they think I dislike the food? Or is it just so mind-boggling that someone my size isn’t shoveling in meals like it’s the end of days?
It’s funny, when I was eating that way I never felt self-conscious. I saw myself as keeping up with the pace, no different than anyone else in the restaurant or at the table. Of course I was clearly blinded by my own willful ignorance.
I have to admit, a positive experience did come out of all of it. I halfway explained myself without getting into too many details, and she pretty much signaled that she got it. Well she came back later, and told me that she wished me all of the luck in the world. She told me that I was going to be feeling and looking so much better in a year’s time. It gave me hope, not for my own success, but that maybe the world isn’t this terrible place where we all scrutinize people under a microscope.
sleavingmybody 